


What are those?

by cool_ha_ha



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Anatomy, Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Pre-Canon, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cool_ha_ha/pseuds/cool_ha_ha
Summary: Working on Terok nor has its ups and downs. Odo is left in a situation he really didn't want to handle.Written for the laugh
Kudos: 3





	What are those?

**Author's Note:**

> O- Odo  
> Make the others up

Terok nor, O has been the security officer for nearly a year. A Bajoran man is brought in and is suspected of smuggling technology. O has been asked to search him which he already finds very uncomfortable.   
Where the holding cells are ..  
O: Empty your pockets  
B: This is ridiculous. I'm not-  
O: EMPTY your pockets  
The Bajoran does so. O checks them anyway. The man looks really angry. O pats him down.  
B: Told you. Nothing.  
O: Take off your shirt  
B: Oh, come on-  
O: I’ll bring a guard in if you do not comply  
The man angrily removes his shirt. O stares for a minute at his chest.  
B: What now?  
O: What are those?  
O points  
B: Nipples??  
O: What are nipples?  
B: You don’t know what nipples are?  
O turns his hands to liquid and back again  
B: Oh yeah.  
O: T!  
A guard arrives looking ready to throw down but is immediately stopped in his tracks  
T: Is he putting - What are those?  
B: For the love of the prophets, they’re just nipples.  
O looks and T and receives the same confused look  
B: Neither of you?  
T leaves and returns with another Bajoran man.  
T: Take off your shirt!  
The new man notices the first shirtless man and complies. O and T continue to stare  
T: I have questions  
O nods  
N: What is this?  
The new man speaks to the first  
B: Spoonheads and shapeshifters don't have nipples apparently  
N turns to O and T  
N: Do you people have belly buttons?  
O: Belly what?  
N points to his.  
N: This thing. It’s a mammalian thing I guess  
O and T: Aahhh.  
T: That clears that up. You can go.  
The new man runs off. O goes back to his suspect  
O: Please remove your trousers.  
B does so. O grabs T before he leaves  
O: Is THAT normal?  
T takes a long look at the half naked Bajoran  
T: Whys it on the outside??  
B: You mean yours is on the inside??  
Everyone looks disgusted with each other  
O: Why does no one tell me these things?

One very intimate conversation later  
T: Well I’m glad that clears that up.  
B: Can I go now?  
O: T, neither of us is willing to check him on the inside …  
T: Could use a very strong magnet?  
O: I like that a lot better than this  
B: I'm sorry, what?  
O: Thank you  
The man is dragged out of the room. O stands there on his own feeling incomplete.   
He walks by a reflective surface. He shapeshifts his very basic torso free. He practices the new markings he’s supposed to have.   
O: I’m going to hold Dr M personally responsible for this anatomical mess.


End file.
